


Love Lies Bleeding

by redeem147



Category: Firefly
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Prayer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-18
Updated: 2011-08-18
Packaged: 2017-10-22 18:51:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/241373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redeem147/pseuds/redeem147
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Last thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Lies Bleeding

I came here because I thought I could make a difference. Thought I could help. And now haven’t I gone and ruined it all.

I told Mal I was leaving because I feared becoming like him. Letting the violence affect me. But the violence was always there. Always simmering below the surface. That I did not tell him. But he would have found out, soon enough.

Because the girl knew. I swear sometimes she could look into my eyes and see my soul. She would look at me one day and tell them all. I could see it coming. Time was I would have dealt with her. Time was she wouldn’t have been a problem.

But I haven’t been that man for a long time. Didn’t ever want to be that man again. So I came to Haven. Name sounded the perfect place for me.

That’s how we fool ourselves. That’s how the devil tempts us. Because if I hadn’t been here, hadn’t been looking for a haven, all these good people would be alive. What ever violence I sought to escape leaving Serenity just came right down with me.

I looked at his face, the man who killed me. I looked at his face and it was like looking in a mirror. And I said, “I’m not you anymore.” He looked confused, but it didn’t stop him.

So I’ll die here on the hard ground, wishing I had stayed where I was. Only thing is, we can’t turn back the past. We can only ask forgiveness.

But why Lord, why? Why did you leave me for last? Why did you make me watch them all die?

When I meet you, will that forgiveness be waiting for me?


End file.
